Only a week after our first proper visit to Port Mall, we went back. This time there was a very specific mission. Viorica had decided that she needed a new jacket for autumn and, apparently, several other seasons of the year. From the way the subject was presented, this was clearly not going to be just a jacket. It was going to be a special jacket, requiring proper investigation, comparison, inspection and whatever other mysterious processes are involved in selecting the correct item of clothing. My enthusiasm for participating in this operation was approximately zero. I have long accepted that there are certain shopping expeditions where my contribution is neither required nor particularly useful. Standing outside changing rooms while being asked whether two nearly identical jackets look different is not one of my recognised professional competencies. Fortunately, our previous visit to Port Mall had already revealed an excellent alternative: the upper food level, an I...